Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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