nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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