This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Randomize
