After last night, I could never be a politician.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He? As in you personified your dick?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
