I hate all girls vehemently.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
