So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
