i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Randomize
