They should really pass out barf bags in church
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
