Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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