I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
