are you still at the devil's house?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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