I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Randomize