whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Randomize
