I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
