Define "chronic" masturbator.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
