i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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