I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
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So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
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Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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