I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
