i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Just high enough for therapy.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Randomize
