My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize
