no, he came in my armpit
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
