im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
