That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize