no you cant smoke seaweed
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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