doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
