i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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