There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Randomize
