We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Even my vagina gasped.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
