I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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