He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
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Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
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I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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