just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
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