i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
