I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize