Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
You can't motorboat a personality
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
