eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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