i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
