fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
