My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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