the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
