Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Randomize
