worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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