So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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