this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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