she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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