Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize