If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize