We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Randomize
