Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
