I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
