I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
This girl is more easily done than said...
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
