Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Randomize
