I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
