Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
