I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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