He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
