She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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