he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
