all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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