Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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