I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
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Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
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party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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